Some Jokes about Rajnikanth

Indian movies doesn’t necessarily mean Bollywood, its a vast country and just like bollywood, the south Indian film industry also has its fare share… One of the biggest name of South India film industry and also known face to bollywood is Mr. Rajnikanth

As happens with all celebrity, he also has his own set jokes… !!! Bellow ones are circulating at many Indian forums, I thought it wont be a bad idea to give a little fun to my readers…

 


Rajanikanth makes onions cry.

Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’ PC will crash.

Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

Rajanikanth can build a snowman….. out of rain.

Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Rajanikanth can drown a fish.

Rajanikanth can play the violin…… …with a piano.

When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,……… …. he turns the dark off.

Rajanikanth once had a heart attack…… ……… his heart lost.

When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.

The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.

Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”

Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.

It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.

Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.

Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.

When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.

75 Comments

Kiran  on January 17th, 2008

South Indian movies have a fare share? Are you sure dude?
South Indian movies produce more hits than bollywood! Did you know that? ;-) Also Rajnikanth earns more than Sharukh khan for a film. If Bollywood continues producing stupid movies, one day Indian movies will just imply Tollywood.

Choto Cheeta  on January 17th, 2008

The Aim is to make people enjoy the jokes about Rajnikanth… Now I have writen all those extra words so that Rajnikanth gets the respect what he deserves… No doubt he makes more money than many bollywood super star or his fan club is bigger than what SRK or Big B has in combine :lol:

Rahul  on January 17th, 2008

Awesome jokes :) )

here is another one i found over internet.

Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide…..

Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.

Here are a few scenes

1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!

2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…

This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn’t changed. Oops, not so fast!

The ‘climax’ finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can’t jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton commits suicide…

Choto Cheeta  on January 18th, 2008

woah… Really some nice collection !!! Thank you for posting those

Rajinikant - The loss ( Just like Shivaji - The boss) « Comments Don’t Kill People  on January 30th, 2008

[...] 30, 2008 by batta420 I saw a site that gives the true facts about Rajinikanth. Things [...]

Shiv  on February 19th, 2008

Hey bro… nice ones!!! I made some myself(some are strikingly similar… i’m still wondering why!!!:P)

Shiv  on February 19th, 2008

The last time Rajanikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.

NASA, after 10 years of research, could not ascertain the recent shift in earth’s orbit. They later found from the Rajanikanth’s secretary that he had been doing a lot of push-ups lately. NASA has now asked Rajanikanth to go to the opposite point on earth and do push-ups to balance out the effect.

Terminator was made as a factual description of Rajnikanth’s(relatively) innocent childhood.

Time and tide wait for none other than our very own… yup you guessed it – Rajanikanth.

When Rajanikanth is sick, he goes to his summer house in Bermuda Triangle to rest. History is proof that he likes his privacy.

Legend has it that the only reason Greenland has sunlight throughout the day is because Rajanikanth once flashed a smile there, and ever since the rays are being internally refracted.

Rajanikanth has released the title of his autobiography – “Modest Me”.

The only Rubik’s cube Rajanikanth even bothered to solve was a 16x16x16 cube. he got bored coz he finished it thrice in 60 seconds.(That includes the time to scramble the thing between attempts)

Rajanikanth’s computer’s hard disk is stored in Rajanikanth.

Rajanikanth’s blood has an extremely high concentration of metal ions due to repeated swallowing of bullets fired at him.

Shiv  on February 19th, 2008

haha… I’m working on more…:P

selva  on March 6th, 2008

Good job done..
keep it up…..and keep rocking dude…
people wonet understand still…

Rajnikant the Almighty | Choto Cheeta Online  on March 21st, 2008

[...] I posted few jokes about Ranjikant, I received few emails asking about this all mighty and while preparing my emails, I happen to find [...]

AT  on June 5th, 2008

Ya Rajini is awesome. Thats why Tamilians go mad when Rajnikanth movies are released and then this crap of jokes is unleashed.

Why do you want to differentiate between Chennai or Mumbai? Can’t you enjoy Rajnikanth and Amitabh both at the same time. Both are kings in their own right.

john  on July 31st, 2008

rajanikaant is good

Sd  on September 1st, 2008

Oh yes! We enjoy Rajni!hey AT he defines the sense of creativity and sense of superiority that any mortal can possibly have!aftr all not many ppl can thnk of playin the collg kid at what 50?

Karan  on September 17th, 2008

It’s a fact that rajni refuses to do a film with single vilain.(job satisfaction u know!)

Karan  on September 17th, 2008

But I like his cigarette stunts.specialy the scean where rajni fights a bunch of villains with a burning cigarette between his lips. and another scean where he lights a cigarette by throwing a cigarette in the air and shooting a bullet at it.(giraftar) remember? truly mind blowing.

Pooja  on October 6th, 2008

AT do you really feel we shud accept Rajni as we do to Amitabh. If so then why stil you Tamillians refuse to speak hindi. Thet stil think English is a must learn and find hindi a foreign language. We find Rajni as alien as you find hindi.

Sudhir  on October 9th, 2008

Pooja,
What’s with the blunt reasoning? And the tit-for-tat mentality? Shhh. And AT, why do you care if other people don’t accept Rajinikanth? Shhh. For heaven’s sake, everybody shhh.

nimi  on December 16th, 2008

it was amazing;’./;’.,’;/.,.,.,.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nimi  on December 16th, 2008

send more jokes likes this…………… did u get dat dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!%#$%^&*()___+?>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<:”{

rajkumar`  on April 10th, 2009

rajnikanth is a bad person i donot like him i like kamal no one is equal to kamal kamal is a great actor rajni is not actor he is a jocker

Tashi Phuntsho  on April 26th, 2009

Though I am from different country I did get to up watch some of Rajnikanth movies in Hindi during mid nineties but sadly he seems to have stopped playing in Hindi movies these days because we hardly hear of him in my country here in Bhutan. He is awesome!! Keep posting….

Aditya  on June 2nd, 2009

Super Jokes.. :-)

Sumit Ghosal  on June 17th, 2009

@AT
I am a bengali and I believe that there is only one king that is rajnikanth and only rajnikanth can be bigger than rajnikanth.There is no one but rajnikanth who understands nature and relation ship better than rajnikanth.Jai ho rajni baba.

manju  on July 19th, 2009

rajanikanth is just a jocker

Sam  on August 21st, 2009

You North Indian racists always degraded South and this is the reason why most of the South Indians face humility. You have always made fun of Rajni Kanth who has himself a huge crowd drawing potential unlike any other star. Donot forget Jackie Chan is the highest paid actor in Asia and he has his market in hollywood which is not in Rajni’s case but he still is in an unmatched,unparalled and undoubtedly awesome actor

Ambarish  on August 28th, 2009

you bloody rascal sam, you are dividing india …. I dont want to comment much on the fool, pigs like you. you are the crappest of all creatures…….damn fool…….even pigs are better they sprfead swine flu you spread hatred flu. you bastard.

Ambarish  on August 28th, 2009

you bloody rascal sam, you are dividing india …. I dont want to comment much on the fool, pigs like you. you are the crappest of all creatures…….damn fool…….even pigs are better they sprfead swine flu you spread hatred flu. you bastard.

Sam  on August 31st, 2009

Completely copied from “Chuck Norris Facts” – You brilliant!!

Dinesh  on September 8th, 2009

Rajini Kanth is a legend. Hope you all come to know in future.
a simple man whoem we find hard to see in these days…..

Sam  on September 13th, 2009

@Ambarish
You need to grow up. Watch out for racism all over the country. Humiliations, discrimination, degradation will make you feel tired and sick. Believe me if you were a south indian you must have already had this but it went unnoticed

Z  on September 16th, 2009

“Why do you want to differentiate between Chennai or Mumbai? Can’t you enjoy Rajnikanth and Amitabh both at the same time. Both are kings in their own right.”

You are right AT.

Amitabh has himself acknowledged that Rajni is the King. Rajni has himself said that Amitabh is the King. Even then we all fight over these small things.

We Indians should be happy that we have 2 legends to entertain us. Rajni and Amitabh both are great :)

haha!!  on September 28th, 2009

HAHAAAA!!! omg this is hilarious!!
FANTASTIC WORK!!!!!

KM  on October 6th, 2009

Guys, you are terrible… How the hell is it diving India… These jokes aren’t even personal.. Seriously.. You have serious issues with exaggerated things…

Have you heard of Chuck Norris? Rajni and Chuck are same, but you guys just can’t take it…

jala  on October 15th, 2009

yes, at the time of shivaji and zoom barabar only we find who is great. even the colection for carparking at theaters of shivaji not done at amitabhs multi cast movie. kanna eppadi.. ha. haa .haa

srichandrashekar  on October 15th, 2009

yes, at the time of shivaji ,zoom barabar only we find who is great. even the colection for carparking at theaters of shivaji not done at amitabhs multi cast movie. kanna eppadi.. ha. haa .haad

prem  on October 19th, 2009

hey sucka…i had watched all of thalaiver’s movies and no such scenes were present…publish scenes by movies data if you can you dumbass

prem  on October 19th, 2009

the stupid fucker who posted this is a jackass who got the idea from a
” Chuck Norris Jokes ” website somewhere and i damn sure that the SOB is from a turban wearing asshole group.
Here is some intresting facts for bollywood bitches ;
1 ) Rajnikanth is the highest paid actor in India / 2nd in Asia
2 ) Rajnikanth has over 70000 fanclubs throughout the world
3 ) Chuck Norris is 183-10-2 in karate ( not sure if you bollywood bitches understand the numbers ) and had defeated the likes of Joe Lewis and Allen Steen in his heyday

So simply put , the 2 great persons above are no match and should’nt
even be mentioned together with the actors of bollywood which would be a huge disgrace to their names.

VIJAY  on December 26th, 2009

How Balakrishna for Telugu
just like that Rajanikanth for Tamil.
The jokes really suits HIM…

Chilman  on March 29th, 2010

Rajnikanth is just a joke. He’s a joker. Yesterday I was watching Sivaji and I was like OMFGLOL!!! What the hell, lol. This guy is an idiot, actually all south indian actors are idiots, they overact…they should stop working in films and work as extras in bollywood movies LOL

Mac  on April 6th, 2010

Do you have something called sense of humor you idiot…
The Chuck Norris thing was started as a joke and became a big hit. Same is with Rajni, why do you think he has all those kind of stunts in his movie? because people like it.

So all this post is a joke and it is written to enjoy. Doesn’t matter you like it or not. If you cant take it lightly, leave it.

AMBARISH  on April 7th, 2010

Hey dude, do you know once I was in chennai for 2 months and the people over there knowing hindi would nt respond to you.
Whom u are blaming…Its in our blood..there are lots of craps like me and you spread in this country.
Stop blaming.

kevinfrancis  on May 3rd, 2010

stop being a racist. Last i knew bollywood made a 101 shi* movies in 2007-2009.

In response to the article, hilarious!

kevinfrancis  on May 3rd, 2010

some of the jokes would be equally hilarious if you replace rajni with amitabh .. throw in a couple of kbc jokes too !!

Amar  on May 15th, 2010

Whatever you people say, Rajnikant is a joker and people who say he is an actor are blind and dumb as this guy.

rahul  on May 18th, 2010

c’mon guys we are all Indians..dont hate each other so much…chill…and its just a joke so why all this racist fightin n all over it?

rajniKanth  on May 25th, 2010

so dont be so angry dude……..

I took my name so serious…..that i can achieve all these things…..
one day I was cutting a tkt…..whn a man Asked my name….I replied Rajnikanth…..and he started laughing….rajni cant…..so angreez kahinka….so I wanted 2 prove that I can do everything….
thats why the coin flipping….and everything I did……they r having their fun…

venu gopal  on June 11th, 2010

rajani actor never seen before

Sid  on July 20th, 2010

Whoa people U sure can take a bit of chillin. I m not sayin that he is a bad actor. But lets face it. those stupid stunts are too much are on the nerves. u guys sure noe what i mean. N for this point He at no cost is the highest paid actor

vikram  on September 30th, 2010

read more rajnikanth famous jokes http://bit.ly/aIuQCY

rajini fan  on October 1st, 2010

rajini’s email id is gmail at rajini.com

rajini fan  on October 1st, 2010

You can search for answers in Google. Google find answers with Rajini.

rajini fan  on October 1st, 2010

Rajini does not water supply. Hydrogen and Oxygen merges at the sight of him and produce water whenever he wants.

Name (required)  on October 3rd, 2010

Rajini does not go to movie theaters. It comes to him.

SouthIndian  on October 8th, 2010

Shame on you guys to comment on Such a talented and respected Actor.Acting is done to entertain people and he is famous for his own style. This doesn’t suit anyone but him.If you cant admire his talents at least don make up some stupid jokes like this again.
Shame on you all Indians.
If you think he has done too much then why is it breaking the box office record….

srini  on October 11th, 2010

Rajni never upload a file. The net will come down.

ayappan  on October 24th, 2010

In this Universe, human kind except aliens know certain things…

ONE UNIVERSE…
ONE SUN…
ONE MOON…
ONE SUPERSTAR…RAJNIKANTH

…in this vast milky way galaxy…

tumle  on October 25th, 2010

he sets box office records because of crazy fans lik you ;)

shubham  on October 31st, 2010

all those who r rajni fans plz dont comment shame on u and all those stuffs
this is just for fun
our sayint this will not affect rajnikant in nyway

wikipedia  on November 3rd, 2010

ru not an indian ? ? ?

sir  on November 3rd, 2010

beat this:

Once Rajni participated in 100 mtr race..
guess who came first?

Obvisouly Rajni..but Albert Einstein died after watching the race….cozzzzzz

Observe a minute’s silence to the departed soul…then read on….

Light came second!!!!!!!…………………….

sir  on November 4th, 2010

Rajini also enjoyses hees jokes….why bother…freedom of expression….

aahva mahin  on November 6th, 2010

look guys when bollywood found in to being its all films are all copied from hollywood,the name itself,then what they are claiming their legacy,its all types chocklets,glamour and nothing besides stupidity,let me ask some thing how many national awards got for bollywood films,you dont have any film culture,its 2010,you guys are making stupidity again and again,look at the southies we have our own subjects to make films,most of the awards are got south films.

SIDDHARTHA  on November 7th, 2010

?||RAJNIKANTH CHALLISA ||

|| YADA YADA HI DHARMASYA
GLANIR BHAVATI BOLLYWOOD/TOLLYWOOD ||

||ABHYUTTHANAM ADHARMASYA
TADATMANAM RAJNIKANTHAM ||

BHAWARTH: JAB AB JAB BOLLYWOOD/TOLLYWOOD PE PAAP BAREGA
JAB JAB LOG ADHARM KE RASSTE PAR CHALEGATAB TAB PARAM SHRI “RAJNIKANTH JI” WILL COME IN THE SCENE (IN SOME FORM OR OTHER.LIKE ROBOT AND SHIVAJI ) or INCARNATE HIMSELF

dfvfae  on November 11th, 2010

dude rajni does not water supply gimme a break mahn improve ur english then comment!!

Aamir  on November 16th, 2010

SBI md goes to Rajnikanth for opening his account…..

Aamir  on November 16th, 2010

World bank ask loan from Rajnikanth

@nk!t  on November 19th, 2010

grammeratical thinking:Those think in universe in one we start with THE. like THE sun. so not call rajni call THE rajnikant.

@nk!t  on November 19th, 2010

rajnikant has no brain shock : bcoz nam hi kafi hai THE rajnikant. his intelegency prove by name

vikram  on November 20th, 2010

Cool jokes, find more rajnikanth famous jokes http://bit.ly/aIuQCY

jai  on December 2nd, 2010

only Rajni makes the omlets with boil eggs… ///

Akbar  on January 9th, 2011

Shame on all of you who have posted these comments about a legend like Rajinikanth. Long live rajanikanth and long live all his stunts. No doubt he is the second highest paid actor in asia after Jackie chan. All your comments remind me of the fox and sour grapes story.

vikram  on April 6th, 2011

Some more cool rajnikanth jokes http://bit.ly/aIuQCY

nikz  on April 16th, 2011

hey thats jst a joke
no one is insulting him

captainportal.com  on April 29th, 2011

nice jokes collection. Ranjnikanth is the real Super star of INDIA,

aniket  on July 1st, 2011

once rajnikant pulled one man from up ann down now that man is known as khali

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