Some Jokes about Rajnikanth
Indian movies doesn’t necessarily mean Bollywood, its a vast country and just like bollywood, the south Indian film industry also has its fare share… One of the biggest name of South India film industry and also known face to bollywood is Mr. Rajnikanth…
As happens with all celebrity, he also has his own set jokes… !!! Bellow ones are circulating at many Indian forums, I thought it wont be a bad idea to give a little fun to my readers…
Rajanikanth makes onions cry.
Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’ PC will crash.
Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
Rajanikanth can build a snowman….. out of rain.
Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Rajanikanth can drown a fish.
Rajanikanth can play the violin…… …with a piano.
When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,……… …. he turns the dark off.
Rajanikanth once had a heart attack…… ……… his heart lost.
When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.
The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.
Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.
Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.
When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.
Kiran said
am January 17 2008 @ 12:51 am
South Indian movies have a fare share? Are you sure dude?
Also Rajnikanth earns more than Sharukh khan for a film. If Bollywood continues producing stupid movies, one day Indian movies will just imply Tollywood.
South Indian movies produce more hits than bollywood! Did you know that?
Choto Cheeta said
am January 17 2008 @ 5:03 pm
The Aim is to make people enjoy the jokes about Rajnikanth… Now I have writen all those extra words so that Rajnikanth gets the respect what he deserves… No doubt he makes more money than many bollywood super star or his fan club is bigger than what SRK or Big B has in combine
Rahul said
am January 17 2008 @ 10:14 pm
Awesome jokes :))
here is another one i found over internet.
Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide…..
Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.
Here are a few scenes
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn’t changed. Oops, not so fast!
The ‘climax’ finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can’t jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton commits suicide…
Choto Cheeta said
am January 18 2008 @ 5:21 am
woah… Really some nice collection !!! Thank you for posting those
Rajinikant - The loss ( Just like Shivaji - The boss) « Comments Don’t Kill People said
am January 30 2008 @ 5:47 pm
[...] 30, 2008 by batta420 I saw a site that gives the true facts about Rajinikanth. Things [...]
Shiv said
am February 19 2008 @ 3:24 pm
Hey bro… nice ones!!! I made some myself(some are strikingly similar… i’m still wondering why!!!:P)
Shiv said
am February 19 2008 @ 3:25 pm
The last time Rajanikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
NASA, after 10 years of research, could not ascertain the recent shift in earth’s orbit. They later found from the Rajanikanth’s secretary that he had been doing a lot of push-ups lately. NASA has now asked Rajanikanth to go to the opposite point on earth and do push-ups to balance out the effect.
Terminator was made as a factual description of Rajnikanth’s(relatively) innocent childhood.
Time and tide wait for none other than our very own… yup you guessed it - Rajanikanth.
When Rajanikanth is sick, he goes to his summer house in Bermuda Triangle to rest. History is proof that he likes his privacy.
Legend has it that the only reason Greenland has sunlight throughout the day is because Rajanikanth once flashed a smile there, and ever since the rays are being internally refracted.
Rajanikanth has released the title of his autobiography - “Modest Me”.
The only Rubik’s cube Rajanikanth even bothered to solve was a 16×16x16 cube. he got bored coz he finished it thrice in 60 seconds.(That includes the time to scramble the thing between attempts)
Rajanikanth’s computer’s hard disk is stored in Rajanikanth.
Rajanikanth’s blood has an extremely high concentration of metal ions due to repeated swallowing of bullets fired at him.
Shiv said
am February 19 2008 @ 3:26 pm
haha… I’m working on more…:P
selva said
am March 6 2008 @ 12:21 pm
Good job done..
keep it up…..and keep rocking dude…
people wonet understand still…
Rajnikant the Almighty | Choto Cheeta Online said
am March 21 2008 @ 8:56 am
[...] I posted few jokes about Ranjikant, I received few emails asking about this all mighty and while preparing my emails, I happen to find [...]
AT said
am June 5 2008 @ 4:06 pm
Ya Rajini is awesome. Thats why Tamilians go mad when Rajnikanth movies are released and then this crap of jokes is unleashed.
Why do you want to differentiate between Chennai or Mumbai? Can’t you enjoy Rajnikanth and Amitabh both at the same time. Both are kings in their own right.
john said
am July 31 2008 @ 9:22 am
rajanikaant is good
Sd said
am September 1 2008 @ 10:07 pm
Oh yes! We enjoy Rajni!hey AT he defines the sense of creativity and sense of superiority that any mortal can possibly have!aftr all not many ppl can thnk of playin the collg kid at what 50?
Karan said
am September 17 2008 @ 9:40 am
It’s a fact that rajni refuses to do a film with single vilain.(job satisfaction u know!)
Karan said
am September 17 2008 @ 9:47 am
But I like his cigarette stunts.specialy the scean where rajni fights a bunch of villains with a burning cigarette between his lips. and another scean where he lights a cigarette by throwing a cigarette in the air and shooting a bullet at it.(giraftar) remember? truly mind blowing.
Pooja said
am October 6 2008 @ 10:53 am
AT do you really feel we shud accept Rajni as we do to Amitabh. If so then why stil you Tamillians refuse to speak hindi. Thet stil think English is a must learn and find hindi a foreign language. We find Rajni as alien as you find hindi.
Sudhir said
am October 9 2008 @ 10:50 am
Pooja,
What’s with the blunt reasoning? And the tit-for-tat mentality? Shhh. And AT, why do you care if other people don’t accept Rajinikanth? Shhh. For heaven’s sake, everybody shhh.